DAY 46

It was almost noon
when I showered, hot water
and peppermint soap.

Surprised by a knock -
I greeted R at front door
in a small towel.

A gift! One thousand
piece puzzle and chocolate!
For her: micro-greens.

Masked, washed, I entered
Grocery Outlet buying
salty, sweet, sour treats.

DAY 45

Eastern yellows, sage.
Memories of that summer
cycling canyons, hills.

Highway hum calms me.
Carpets of yellow petaled
daisies. Prairie greens.

Did I see a fox???
Certainly lupine, hawksbeard,
a cluster of cows.

DAY 44

And I am thinking:
just looking, listening, being -
is the truest work.

DAY 43

Collective trauma,
shared sorrow, unequally
distributed death.

DAY 42

Instead of metal
roll-down doors there is plywood
covering windows.

Ballard Avenue -
puddles of pink petals, weeds.
Murals, poetry.

I refuse to stay
home. Let me wander only
with friends fern, moss, tree.

DAY 41

Carkeek beginning.
Blue Ridge curves, peaks, luxury.
Golden Garden birds.

Along Burke-Gilman
Ballard ghosts, cobblestones, bridge.
Past moored boats, locks, locked.

Industrial leads
to Discovery, the bluffs
of Magnolia.

Cruising through chain link
headwind, Myrtle Edwards crowds,
empty waterfront.

Continuing - straight.
the lower bridge open to
bikes, Alki finish. 

DAY 40

DAY 39

new chain ring, tires, tubes,
wireless odometer.
such kindness disarms.

DAY 38

R fills my car with

love and treats. Northbound I am -

for delivery.

Macaroon pickup.

Door opens quickly, bag passed.

Now where can I pee???

White wine in R's yard.

Forest walk with V, Hazel.

more anger with D.

Teach me acceptance,

please. Teach me peace, instead of

meanness, frustration. 

DAY 37

Wednesday. What happened?
Enhanced colors, rainy day.
Anne with an E, tea.

DAY 36

Accusatory
text received during weekly
shopping. Such fury!

My anger simmered
until nightfall, dinnertime.
Finally released.

Zoom Yoga with 3 -
29 invites were sent.
Were they still sleeping?

Zoom Yoga with 4 -
Joellen is 84!
A sweet connection.

And then, my yoga!
Heat, music, mirror, lights dim.
At last! Sweat magic.

DAY 35

What day is today?
Whitewater, towering pine.
Heat, ghost town, secret.

DAY 34

What do I miss most?
Not parties, festivals or
shopping. Hot yoga!

I tried to create
a space, with light, heat, peace, joy
but there is no joy.

Zoom yoga doesn't
work for me - and I can't find
my inspiration.

Instead, beloved
bicycle thrills me, heals me
unlike anything else.

DAY 33

It rained all night, most
of the day. We puzzled, made
cookies, ate them all.

DAY 32

Come forth into the
light of things. Let nature be
your teacher. - Wordsworth

Are friendships falling
apart? Psychological
trauma, distancing.

DAY 31

Willow turned 13 -
daytime drive-by party,
nighttime Zoom slumber.

DAY 30

I dropped off blocks, straps
But forgot to wear my mask
Shamed, I retreated.

Unruly pleasure,
Chocolate mousse eggs, coffee, cream.
Laurelhurst dead ends.

I have been afraid
to transplant fragile seedlings
but today we did!

Pink knee socks, yoga
short shorts, bra top and sneakers
to dig, kneel in, dirt.

DAY 29

Quiz scheduled for 9 -
Trader Joe's line 50 deep
a one hour wait.

Three sweet crumbs, juicy
pineapple, eggs and bacon,
brownies afterward.

During the meeting,
I finished invitations,
blue borders, black ink.

"Yes, we expect you
to do the work your teachers
now ask you to do."

Mountain Loop Highway -
bearded drummer, his arms rise,
descend, beating hearts.

In my mind, holding
the unbreakable circle
guilt, joy, health, peace, life.

DAY 28

Now it is Monday,
Spring Break over, chaos still.
Pink petals floating.

One more dialogue,
Zoom Yoga with two students-
I keep reaching out.

DAY 27

One hour only
Road, rivers, railroads, never
seen before now! What?!

Ben Howard yellow,
white pickets, flooding sunlight -
the hidden Monroe.

Dry riverbed walk
Hopping between stones: large, small
Where is the old road?

DAY 26

Cavanaugh clear cuts,
North shore: sunbeams, South: shadows.
32 miles!

DAY 25

his morning stonewall -
and I yelled, words spilling out.
not my best moment.

Repair came slowly,
A comedy podcast helped.
Time apart, breath work.

Look! Snoqualmie Falls -
another surprise, through trees
where the trail ends.

Coconut mango
chicken, rice, sweet potatoes,
special caramels!

Evening miracle!
The flower petals open,
flutter, singing love.

DAY 24

matcha ritual
postponed. boil, pour, drip dark and
add cream. demon drink.

no breakfast, no keys.
overturned cushions, pillows.
frantic disbelief.

T stood beneath the
blooming magnolia, eyes bright.
eggs, books, words bursting.

Mercer cruise with A,
escape into blinding light
illusion, laughter.

Second loop, alone.
Then egg drop for N,
18 more for M.

Beloved teachers,
all. We are waiting, hoping -
to find our way back.

DAY 23

first, egg delivery.
madame gifts 66!
mothering farmer.

another island.
low tide shimmer, sun bleached shells
nearly four hours.

I waved to colin
between shadow of cedars -
sparkle, a fierceness.

even the ranger
nodded hello, no lecture
just waves, seagulls, me.

DAY 22

with D beside me,
river roar, frog chorus, this
magical secret.

which mountain? still snow
lingers on the tip. milky
river, waterfalls.

empty parking lots.
there, look, another biker -
he understands us.

daily I tell D -
unfolding this tragedy
with him, centers me.

DAY 21

road closed, forever?
seduced by solitude, curves,
forest and river.

here - turn around time.
no signal, spare tube or pump.
a confusing bliss.

DAY 20

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52176222

DAY 19

Another disappointing student dialogue - they were reading off their paper instead of having the words practiced, held, understood in their heads. And half the grammar was wrong, the grammar we have practiced since September. But whatever - pointless, really, absolutely pointless. Better to focus on their health, acknowledging their presence, completing the task. Thank you and goodbye.

I ate more cookies afterwards, balanced with an apple, orange, granola and yogurt bowl. Stared at the seedlings, read about Charles Darwin and his wife Emma, started a new, nearly impossible puzzle full of the same colors, piece size. But then B and I made the most delicious cookies - magic cookies! No sugar or flour, held together with overripe banana!

Instead of traveling to Costa Rica today I cruised the Snoqualmie Valley.

DAY 18

I felt -  cynical during Zoom World Language meeting, awkward during Zoom yoga, disappointed during Zoom student dialogues, frustrated by all the ridiculous emails. By 1:30 I wanted to throw the computer against the wall.

And now we are supposed to all wear masks? As the numbers climb, and the newspaper headlines seem more ridiculous and dire, but outside there are the joggers and runners, families on bikes, teenagers skating by, strangely normal, disconnected. When will the trail be closed, the gas rationed to truly keep us home?

Today D and B and I moved the potting table inside, freshly washed and dried, placed it against a bare wall, now the puzzle area. My dear friend R loaned us 3 puzzles (all BC - before corona, not been touched in years) and we three started and finished the 300 piece one in one sitting, so satisfying!

I sometimes dread the evenings after B is in bed -- only because it's movie time and D and W love action movies and slapstick comedies, my nightmare picks! But Hallelujah we jointly discovered the NetFlix series, "Anne with an E" - heartwarming, beautiful, entertaining, sweet, traditional. And there are 3 seasons! I can finally relax!

DAY 17

Self-isolated from 9am-1pm in the bedroom I share with D - trying to get school work done. Emails and Zoom meetings, the novelty already worn off. Everything feels so inefficient and disconnected, back and forth, back and forth, only about 50% of the students responding. Where are the others? Working to support their families? Sleeping in a shelter? Taking care of siblings? Playing videogames?

Meanwhile, I also text family and friends, the daily round of reaching out and checking in. I look at the news, the weather, recipes. I eat mini chocolate peanut butter cups after breakfast, half a milk chocolate with toffee bar before lunch, three chocolate chip cookies a few hours later, 39 plain m&ms after dinner, one and half donuts before bed.